*Taps microphone that gathered dust over the past weeks*
“Is this thing on?”
Hello? Hello??
*A singular bead of sweat streams down my face*
Breaking the fourth wall, I say:
“Why do they always hear the “hello” and then nothing else?”
A fastidious fellow from the shadows scampers to the stage with a shiny new microphone. He replaces the one I’m poking and prodding before getting swallowed up by the darkness again.
“Hello?”
The distinct shriek from a functioning microphone battling feedback cuts through the room and then dissipates
Yes! It’s working!
Happy New Year!
Have you heard of the fresh start effect? Apparently, we’re inclined to make seismic life changes during new seasons because new seasons present us with the opportunity to distance ourselves from our past failures. However, here’s the trick: you can reframe any instant as a fresh start. Even the instant you read this.
At the turn of every year, the internet is awash with lists: Spotify Wrapped, The Top 100 this, The Top 25 that. This blog is no different, I fear. I love a good list.
Here are 63 things we should try to do this year:
- If you can, buy two gas cylinders. Gas never runs out at a convenient time
- Take advice, but don’t let the influx of it paralyze you. Trust your gut
- The greatest risk is not taking risks
- Serendipity is a skill you can learn. You can make yourself luckier by putting yourself out there. Want writing opportunities? Write! Write publicly. Write often. Want acting opportunities? Act! Rip your garments in the city square as you recite a Shakespeare tragedy
- Figure out what your best qualities are and lean into them more. If you’re funny, intentionally make people—especially strangers—laugh. Don’t be overbearing though
- Read the room. There’s a time for everything
- Wish your friends a Happy Birthday. Preferably in person. At worst, via text. It means a lot to them. Put their birthdays on your calendar. As life gets busier, there are fewer opportunities to declare your love. Don’t miss the obvious chances life gives
- Don’t whine about long speeches at weddings or graduation parties for the same reason(s) in #7 above. You’d rather hear those speeches at a wedding than at a requiem mass
- Any exercise is better than no exercise. Get your body moving as often as you can
- Buy a water bottle and drink lots of water. You’ll pee a lot, but your body loves it. Incidentally, peeing a lot helps with point #9 😉
- Buy an alarm clock and leave your phone in another room when you go to bed. Twitter, WhatsApp, or email shouldn’t greet you first in the morning
- Manage your expectations
- Always negotiate your first salary or payment offer. Always
- Call your parents if they’re alive. Visit them often
- Getting in shape is 80% what you eat and 20% exercise. Actually, that 80% is closer to 90%
- Flee all temptation. Don’t try to be a hard guy. (pun intended) Run like the neighborhood cat fleeing accusation
- Take lots of pictures. Let cloud storage worry about itself
- Journal. Write down your candid thoughts and feelings about things. It’s cheaper than therapy. (Though not a replacement for it)
- Start that thing you’ve been putting off now. Seriously, stop here and go start it
- Say you don’t know when you don’t know
- You don’t have to have an opinion on everything
- Budget.
- Start investing your money
- Read more fiction
- Apparently, the “cry it out” method for babies under 1 year is bad for child brain development. Do with that what you will, but don’t call me when you’re attending more class meetings than usual in the future
- Buy black-out curtains, but make sure you set (VERY) loud alarms.
- Travel as often as you can. It doesn’t have to be to a fancy destination you can’t afford. Go to a district you’ve never been to and stay at the local “Serena”
- When you buy a new item of clothing, give out an old one
- Get an annual health check-up. A full workup
- Compliment a stranger every now and then. Look them dead in the eyes, long enough to see yourself in their pupils, and tell them they have a beautiful smile. Then leave before you have to pick a chairman for a wedding committee
- Face at least one of your irrational fears. Mine is swimming. I’m going to learn how to swim
- Don’t pursue relationships with people you don’t intend to sustain. Yes, that person is good-looking and they’re clearly interested, but don’t waste their time
- Don’t treat people as a means to an end
- Take a nature walk on a Sunday afternoon
- Wear sunscreen. Even if you’re darker than a Game of Thrones episode
- If you’re not going to do it well, don’t do it at all
- Make plans, but don’t become enslaved by them. The best days are often the ones you don’t plan surgically
- Take every chance to vent your frustrations. For a time. But once you’re done, move on
- If you live with others, try to do chores before you’re asked
- If you have kids, turn off the screen(s) and just sit with them. Talk to them. You may not always match their energy, but presence is a gift
- Before you buy a non-essential item online, leave it in the cart for a few months. See if you still want it then. Many a wardrobe is full of clean neatly folded unworn impulse buys
- If you find yourself pretending to be someone you’re not around your friends, you need to go to therapy or get new friends. Probably both
- Always be honest about your romantic feelings towards people as early as possible. Even when all you’re feeling is confusion. It doesn’t always go well, but the alternative is worse
- When you go out for the occasional dinner at a fancy restaurant, always order dessert. Diets be damned
- Especially in Uganda, before you visit any business or government offices, call ahead
- Get a hobby. Something you like to do alone. Do it at least once a week
- Resist the urge to take someone’s CV if you have zero prospects for them
- Listen to new music when you travel to a new place. Every time you hear that music, you’ll remember that place
- Plan your day the night before and pick major highlights you want to accomplish
- The cars on the roundabout have the right of way
- Let that car joining the main road from a feeder road squeeze in ahead of you in traffic
- Be kind to your house-helps and everyone you meet in the service industry
- Let the sun kiss your face as early as possible in the morning
- Undersell and overdeliver
- Always make your bed in the morning
- Change your pillowcases at least once a week
- Drink a glass of water when you wake up
- When you feel hungry, drink water first. It’s often just dehydration
- Start with the proteins on the plate if you don’t want to overeat
- Learn a new skill
- Do some volunteer work
- You can compartmentalize your friendships. Your party friends don’t have to be your hiking-a-mountain friends
- You can never eat too much fruit
Would you like to add to the list? Reply in the comments 😇
Have a great week and a great year ✌🏾
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This one is mainly for my Ugandan and African audience. Where do you get your news? Twitter? WhatsApp forwards? Your boda guy? Sign up for TLDR Weekly: Your weekly skim of the top stories from Uganda and the rest of the world delivered directly to your email inbox with wit and precision.
