Regret

Updated: Feb 15

“Regret piles up around us like books we have never read”

— Tom Clancy

I wish I’d started writing and making videos sooner.

Imprisoned by fear, and people’s perceptions, I put off this great thing that has opened up my world in such vast and varied ways. I was doom-scrolling on Twitter the other day while procrastinating writing this post—or as I called it—looking for inspiration when I stumbled upon a thread about regret that piqued my interest. The thread was a summary of a Harvard Business Review (HBR) piece titled The Top Five Career Regrets.

Can you guess those top 5 regrets? Indulge me, please—write down at least 2 guesses on a piece of paper, crumple up the paper, and shove it in your pocket for later.

I wanted to carry out a mini-experiment on regret, so I asked my Instagram followers what their worst regrets in life were, and most people…

…ignored me.

Go figure. Who did I think I was prying into the private recesses of their minds?

But some people responded and all their regrets were tied to either failing to act because of the fear of other people’s opinions or not taking risks.

“Not coloring my hair when I was younger”

“Fear of other people’s opinions cost me some good deals”

“Not trusting myself sooner”

“Procrastination and letting fear lead instead of courage”

“Not saying no on time and wasting my time with people who didn’t care about me”

“Being afraid to take risks”

“Ignoring the red flags in people and being a people pleaser”

Most people’s regrets fall into three categories:

1. How they chose to spend their time in the past
2. Failure to act because of the fear of what other people might think
3. Not taking risks.

Remember the Top Five Career Regrets from earlier? Uncrumple that piece of paper and crosscheck. You probably weren’t far off (at least thematically):

The top 5 [career] regrets were:

1. I wish I hadn’t taken the job for money — risk
2. I wish I’d quit earlier — risk
3. I wish I had the confidence to start my own business — risk
4. I wish I’d used my time in school more productively — time
5. I wish I’d acted on my career hunches — risk

Despite the geographic (and economic) chasm between my Instagram followers and the people HBR interviewed, both groups are united in regret.

So yes—regret piles up like books we’ve never read, but also, it seems, we all want to read the same books.

We all want to spend more time doing what we love with those we love.

We want to take more risks.

We want to do what makes us happy without worrying about what others think.

Regret is fueled by our skewed perception of time. We think we don’t have enough time to make changes or do certain things and sometimes we are right. But often, we’re not.

The beauty (and cruelty) of life is we don’t know how much time we have, so it pays little dividends to obsess over time. Rather, focus on minimizing your regret by indulging as many whims and desires as you can without harming anyone in the process.

I have a friend who started an OnlyFans [hyperlinked for the saints] and no matter how you feel about their commodification of their sexuality, they took a risk. A risk that’s earning them close to $10,000 a month.

By writing to you every week, I’m doing what I regretted not doing sooner.

People’s perceptions be damned. Time is always on your side as long as you’re alive.

You can never be late to your own life

Take that risk (and if it’s an OnlyFans, send me a link 😉).

Have a good week ✌🏾.

PS:

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